Thursday, January 31, 2013

Waltzing with katie ...


This evening, Katie was especially restless and had a very hard time settling down for bed. 

The logical side of my mama brain said: 
"Leave her alone.  She's fine and will settle down and fall asleep when her body is ready."  

The irrational side of my brain questioned: 
"But what if she is wrapped up in her blanket and can't get comfortable?"  

And the Iincredibly-fearful-worst-case-scenario side said: 
"OMG!  She's dying!  She's foaming at the mouth and will not survive unless I go in there and save her life!"  (yes, this really did go through my head!  And don't say you have never had a similar thought when your kids are crying in their cribs!)

So, against my logical judgement, I went in there.  The poor bug was just laying in the middle of her crib with the most forlorn look on her face just tossing and turning.  I whispered to her: "do you want mama to rock you a little bit?" and that little face lit up from within and she whispered back: "uh-huh" and quietly popped up to her feet and outstretched her chubby hands to me.

The second I picked her up, her warm body melted into mine and the next 30 minutes of my life were filled with hummed love songs, endless prayers and silent tears.

I knew she was sound asleep ten minutes into our waltz around her bedroom, but I was too selfish to let this dance end.  The muffled voices of my boys and the dog's over-grown nails pacing to be let outside all but disappeared.  No one else existed in the world other than me and my angel girl and the moment we shared.

I knew it was getting late and time for the dance to end so I reluctantly and awkwardly laid her limp, 30 pound body back in her crib and covered her up.  I crouched over her and rubbed her back and hiney and thought how quickly the past 20 months have gone.  It seemed like just last week I was hovering over her crib, patting her bottom and shushing her to sleep. 

Eventually, I was beckoned back to consciousness by the logical brain, the sounds of the boys and whining from the irritated dog. 

I quietly whispered "good night" and many "I love yous" to my doodle-bug.  I crept backwards out of her door not wanting to take my gaze from her crib. 

And as I closed her door as silently as possible, I caught my breath and thanked God for blessing my life with the dance I shared with my daughter tonight.




Friday, January 18, 2013

my reality check ...


As I sat at the table this evening zombied out to my computer, the boy kept nudging me. 

I ignored ... said "no, mama's busy" ... and paid no attention to his little voice saying "please?"

The sound of his sobs was an alarm clock that woke me up.  I look down and he has tears pouring out of his eyes ...

Me: Baby, what's wrong?
Nathan: I want to sit in your lap. 

All he wants is to sit in my lap.  All he wants at this very minute is to be with me.  And I'm too busy updating my Facebook status to stop and realize the huge moment I was passing up.

THE status update.


As a parent, this was a huge gut check.

Seriously? Seriously.

As soon as I caught my breath and came back to reality, I closed my computer and snatched my soggy, snotty boy into my arms and hugged him to the point of asphyxiation. We then proceeded to spend the next 2 hours snuggled up in his tiny twin bed watching the Powerpuff Girls.

I do my best to stop and smell the proverbial roses but I still falter and get knotted up into the unimportant. 

While spooning my little Turkey Leg, I took stock of my life and said a silent prayer of thanks.

"Thank you for the blessings you bestowed in my life.  For my husband, my turkey leg, my doodle bug and the dang dog.  I also thank you for the moments you lay before me which redirect me to my true priorities in life.  Please continue to remind me ... Amen."


Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Random Thoughts ... 1/9/13


Greetings from 20,000 feet up (or however high airplanes typically fly)!  I am en route from the lovely northeast on my way back home!

While cruising at this altitude, I realized that I should take advantage of this uninterrupted down time by working, facebooking, blogging!

So, without further adieu, I give you my first random thoughts of 2013.

1.  Why does it always seem to take longer on the flight back home than it does on the flight to your destination?  Seriously, I feel like I've been on this plane for 99.3 hours!

2.  The gentlemen next to me is watching The Dark Knight ... and it keeps distracting me.
 
3.  I hate my skin.  Seriously.  I know hate is a very harsh word, but I am sick and tired of these boils that keep erupting on my chin.  hate. hate. HATE!*
love Tyra!

4.  I wonder what state I'm over.

5.  Sorry ... The Dark Knight distracted me.

6.  I miss my babies.

7.  This woman in front of me is pissing me off b/c she keeps pushing her seat (even though fully reclined) back.  My tray table is digging into my body!


8.  Onboard wifi is one of the most amazing experiences ever!  Everyone should try it!  It is especially heavenly for me since I hardly ever have the opportunity to fart around on the internet at home without a little sticky finger messing with my keyboard.

9.  Road bike or mountain bike ... that is the question.

10.  Has anyone every stuck to a Pinterest workout?  If so, did it work?

*Whatever you do, don't google "big ugly pimple" ... it will make you vomit in your mouth!

written on Wednesday, January 9th at 7:49 in 23 minutes.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Stupid, useless brain ...

Here's the set up:
It's Friday night at 8:30.
Kids are in bed "sleeping"
I have my hot tea and wine.
My fingers are loose and I want to blog.

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Grrr.
Gahhhh.
Buuuuuuuuuhhhhhh ....
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My brain is not working with me.



Stupid, useless brain.
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The challenge with my blog writing is I like to accompany them with funny pictures to convey my message, but when I actually have TIME to write, my picture subjects are no longer available (because they are asleep).

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Instead of a thought provoking, insightful topic, I just have lots of topics bouncing around like pinballs!

Topics are:
1.  There's a silverware thief on the loose!
2.  For sale: 2 single baby shoes
3.  Yes, that's part of a racetrack taped to my TV
4.  What feels better?  Q-tipping your ears or Scratching your back

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... ANNNND ...
It is now 9:12 PM, my hot tea is gone, my wine is gone, I have to pee and I am tired.

My apologies to anyone who reads this!  The next one will be better!


Tuesday, January 1, 2013

resolutions for 2013 ...


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A dog's New Year's Resolution: I will not chase that stick unless I actually see it leave his hand! ~Anonymous (searchquotes.com)
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 My 2013 Resolutions
  1. Get my body in the best shape possible and run at least 1 half marathon
  2. Embrace my husband and go on a mommy/daddy only vacation
  3. Keep my cool when the kid's push every single button known to man (especially the power button on the tv during the last 2 minutes of House Hunters)
  4. Find a signature fragrance (other than pee, poop and vomit)
  5. Limit the wine and booze intake.
  6. Finally fix that sprinkler leak in the front yard so it stops flooding the neighbor's driveway.
  7. Organize the cul-de-sac pool party I have planned in my head (it will be legendary)
  8. Continue to nourish my kid's creativity and individuality (Who cares if they want to dress up as a Storm Trooper to go to the dr's office?!)
  9. Grow my hair out as long as possible and donate it (If it's healthy enough)
  10. Stop bringing my work home with me every night (I work to live, not live to work)
  11. Write in this damn blog as much as possible (even if it means locking myself in the bathroom for privacy)

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 Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath.  Today, we are a pious and exemplary community.  Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.  
~Mark Twain (quotegarden.com)

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Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.
~Brad Paisley (twitter.com)