Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Ode to my PITA House ...

Dearest house that I just *HAD TO HAVE*
You are really starting to made me mad!
Lately, there is always something wrong with you,
If you were a person, I'd kick you in the left gonad!

And you make me cuss!

Last night I really would have adored
Too sit in your hot tub as my body was sore.
But alas you had some other plans,
As your pool heater decided to work no more!

So, to you, dear house,
I look at you and frown,
And I give you a big fat thumbs-down!
(And the fist)

Your aches give me pains,
I need a second job to keep you maintained!

Your closet door sticks.
Your foundation is in distress!
And the tile is loose.
And your fence is a mess!

Your water heater is outdated.
Your pergo must go!
Your garage doesn't open!
We've invested much with nothing to show!

The faucet is leaky.
The bathroom is stuffy!
Your drains get clogged up!
And your dust puts me in a huffy!

The fart fan is broken
And a window pane is busted.
Damn you house!
And now the faucet is rusted!

Your sprinkler head is broken!
And your windows stick!
Your paint is peeling and cracking!
Owning you, dang house, is seriously lacking!

Ugh!  I miss apartment life!

I think I will add matches and lighter fluid to the grocery list!

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