Saturday, May 5, 2012

Inventions of the Devil ...

If God created beautiful sweet babies, then the Devil created their horrible playthings!

Below is my list of the Devil's Worst Ones ...

10.  Buttons and Shoelaces ... or anything that little fingers aren't exercised enough to operate. 
All fasteners and attachments should be velcro.

9.  Stickers. 
REALLY?!  Really?!  The Devil is the only being capable of thinking a piece of paper with atom-bomb-resistant adhesive would be an acceptable means of entertainment for an adventurous Little!

8. Toilet Paper
As necessary as toilet paper is, I blame The Devil for making it attractive to chunky little fingers.  I think the Littlest could win a gold medal for the fastest toilet paper unrolling!

7. Play-Doh
No explanation needed for this one.  Just the words send chills down my spine!

6.  All Disappearing Toys! 
This includes the Batman mask that Turkey NEEEEEEDS and I can't find and we're alreay running 15 minutes late for daycare and I have a meeting at 8:00AM!

5. Leaves. 
Yes ... leaves.  They still cover my yard during this beautiful spring weather.  The Girl insists they are a delicacy and must be digested.  And The Boy manages to track them into our house and they randomly appear in the most odd places  ... like my wallet?!  Whuck?!

4.  Markers. 
They manage to mark on everything BUT paper!  They should be called "Devil-ers" instead of "Mark-ers"!

3.  Syrup.  EVERYTHING!  Especially toilet paper and leaves!

2.  ALL Noise Making Toys!
This includes the (possessed) talking puppy that will yell "I LOVE YOU!" at 3:00 in the morning for absolutely no reason! 

1.  Cell Phones and Remote Controllers
Phones and Remotes are another necessary part of life ... but I swear Little Hands and Eyes are designed (by the DEVIL!) to pinpoint any unsupervised small electronic device from 500 yards away in a room filled with balloons, bubbles, ribbon ... and Toilet Paper!


bellalynne25 said...

Oh, we have a possessed talking puppy, too. More than once we've heard that creepy, "I love you!" in the middle of the night!

Rebecca said...

We have the possessed puppy too. It's creepy. James eats the tips of markers which adds a whole new element of why I can't stand them.