Thursday, December 22, 2011

12 days of Christmas (my version) ...

The Twelve Days of ChristmasBy: Becky Leverett

A Small, Little Baby Jesus (Nathan, would you please take the Baby Jesus out of Katie's mouth?  I don't want her to choke on our Savior!)
2 Precious children (Because they are both asleep)
3 Christmas trees (To decorate AND clean up)
4 Naked butt cheeks (It helps cut down on the amount of laundry)
5 Vacay days!  (But I'm still sending the kids to Marilyn's)
6 Packs of Twinkies (Damn you Little Debbie!!  Damn YOU!!)
7 Angry Drivers (Be nice, you flippin' morons!!  Geeze!!)
8 Legos laying (OUCH!  Turkey, please pick up your toys!)
9 Playdoh pellets (Does anyone have a trick on getting it out of carpet)
10 Naked toes (DANG IT SISSY!!!  Quit eating my socks!!!)
11 Gifts to wrap (Do you think if I leave wrapping paper out, Santa will do it for me?)
12 Dirty diapers (Shaun ... Katie has a present for you!)

Monday, December 19, 2011

Bitchin' Kitchen Journey - part 1

Twas the week before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The jammies were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Santa would soon be there.

Nahtan and Katie went on to Marilyn's,
With pancake syrup dripped from their chins.
And Ma and Da-ee took the week off of work
With nothing to do but "a little housework"!

Yours Truly working the sledge!

It's been too quiet, the house needs to change!
A day in the life ... it's really not strange.
What was once a living room, will soon be a kitchen.
Ma guarantees it will be "super-duper bitchin'"!

Before: Living Room (you can see the tape outline of where the cabinets will be)

When throughout the house, there 'rose such a clatter,
Ma and Da-ee got bored ... that's the fact of the matter!
Off in the living room, they flew in a flash,
Cleaning out closets and throwing away trash.

The apprentice stayed up past his bedtime to help

A closet, a wet-bar, some pee-scented Pergo,
They demolish it all, to the curb it must go!
A sledgehammer, crow-bar and reciprocating saw,
That pile of trash was once a wall!

Ma and Da-ee rock out when demolishing
But need the pro's to do all the polishing.
They call in the plumber, carpenter, electrician too
Who will help make the space sparkling and new.

But alas the Leverett's need patience you see
As this is just the beginning of the "Bitchin' Kitchen Journey"

Friday, December 16, 2011

Is it just me, or ....

Is it just me, or do bad words sound less "bad" when you spell them out?

Is it just me, or do men who wear loafers without socks automatically become creepy?

Is it just me, or does Pinterest make you feel in adequate in the "amazing-super-creative-mommy" department?

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Perspectives of a three year old ...

I'm convinced three years old is the perfect age in life. 

At three, you form your own thoughts and opinions.
At three, you can still be held like a baby.
At three, every word you say is the truth.
At three, every thought in your head is pure.
At three ... the world is simple.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you ...

Perspectives of a Three Year Old

Topic: Potty Training.
One evening last month, my wish came true while Nathan and I were playing monsters ...
Nathan: Ma ... I don wanna wear baby diapuhs anymo.
Me: Do you want to wear big boy underwear instead?
Nathan: Yup.  An I can go tee-tee on da da-ey pottee?
Me: Yes sir!  You can go tee-tee on the big-daddy potty!!
Never in my life did I ever think hearing those words would cause my heart to fill with such pride! 

My morning conversation with Nathan ... every.single.morning.
Me: Nathan, do you want to wear big boy underwear today?
Nathan: Yep.
Me: Then you need to tee-tee on the potty.
Nathan: Hode on.  I tee-tee in my baby diapuh fust.
**WARNING**WARNING** Poop conversation ahead!!**WARNING**WARNING**
I was keeping Nathan company in the bathroom during his evening ... ummm ... "bottom business".
Nathan:  (Staring between his legs) Here it comes ...  Here it comes ... (several minutes go by as he does his ... ya know ... stuff) Ma!  Tha's a big poop!
Me: Yep.  It sure is a big poop!
Nathan:  Ma, you nee to tak a pissure wih yo phon.
Me: No, honey.  I do not need to take a picture of your poop. (I think Nathan sees me taking way too many pictures with my phone!)

Topic: Jesus
It amazes me the sweet spirit this little boy possesses.  Having a toddler realigns my view in life and puts things into a simple, basic perspective.

During a recent morning drive to the baby-sitter ...
Nathan: Luk Ma!  A san casul!
Me: Huh?!  A what?!
Nathan: O'er theeer!  (pointing to a white church with tall steeple) A san casul!
Me: Oh!  A sand castle!  Yes baby, that church does look like a sand castle.  (Pause)  Turkey, do you know who lives in the sand castles?
Nathan: Nuh-uh.
Me: Jesus.  Jesus lives in the sand castles!
Nathan: Jesus?
Me: Yes baby, Jesus.
Nathan: Baby Jesus?!
Me: Yes, Jesus and Baby Jesus are the same person.
Nathan: Is deer a Da-ey Jesus?
Me: Yes, sweetie, there is a Daddy Jesus!
Nathan: Is deer a Mommee Jesus?
Me:  Uhhh ... Jesus takes care of us like Mommy takes care of you ... so ... yes ... Jesus is a mommy too.
Then, after five minutes of silence ...
Nathan: I wanna live in san casuls with Mommy and Da-ey Jesus!
Me: We can visit the sand castles, but it's not time for us to live there yet ...

The Christmas holiday is another area discussed quite often in the house ...
Me: Nathan, do you know why we get presents on Christmas?
Nathan: Pwesents?!
Me: Yes, sugar!  We give and receive presents on Christmas to celebrate Jesus' birthday!
Nathan: Jesus buffday?  Do Jesus get a cake?
Me: Yes, we will have a special birthday cake for Jesus. (A Christmas tradition in my family is to have a birthday cake for Jesus)
Nathan:  (wanders out of the room ... singing) Happah buffday deah Jesus!  Happah buffday do do!

Topic: Family Love
My husband's birthday was last week.  Shaun is not a fan of gifts so I usually just give him a card.  This year, however, independent Nathan wanted to give his daddy a gift.
Me: Turkey, Daddy's birthday is next week.  What do you want to get him?
Nathan: A cookie.
Me: Why a cookie?
Nathan: No, Ma!  A Cookie Mahster!
Me: Oh!  Ok ... why do you want to give Daddy a Cookie Monster?
Nathan: Da-ey's baby cookie is dirty.
Me: Daddy's Baby Cookie?!  What do you mean?
Nathan: Da-ey's Baby Cookie!  At Gamah's n Granpa's!
Me: Daddy's Cookie Monster at Grandma and Grandpa's?!
Nathan: Yep.  Da-ey nees a new Cookie!
Me: (Pause) ... OH!  You want to get Daddy a new Cookie Monster to replace the old Cookie Monster from when he was a baby at Grandma and Grandpa's?
Nathan gives me a look as if to say: "Duh.  Isn't that what I just said?!"

I'm in the kitchen making dinner and both kids are in the living room.  Katie is wobbily sitting on her blanket playing with her toys and Nathan's climbing in his toybox when Katie topples over.
Nathan: (screaming)  MA!!  Bakatie felled ober!
Me: (playing up my concern) Oh, no!  Is Katie ok?
Nathan: Uh dunno.  (The little boy redirects his voice to the little one laying on her blanket)  Bakatie ... you ok?  Do you nee Nasan do kiss you boo-boo?
The subsequent silence is my cue to peek in on them.  I see my sweet boy gently patting and rubbing the back of his little sister.  He leans down and plants a sloppy kiss on the top of her head and nuzzles her peach fuzz.  I quickly escape back out of the room undetected as I did not want to ruin the moment.
Me: (yelling from back in the kitchen)  Turkey ... is Katie ok?
Nathan: Yeh Ma!  See's find!

I look at the adoration he has in his eyes for his little sissy and pray that it never, ever goes away!  I am blessed with 2 older brothers and grew up feeling like the safest person on the face of the earth.  It is a dream of mine for sweet Katie to feel the security of her daddy and bubba's constant protection ... even when she is grown and has a family of her own.