Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Verbal diarrhea ...

I'm suffering from a case of writer's block and the advice given to me is to start typing and it will all come to me.  So, my dear friends, I give to you, my attempt at curing my writer's block. 

Please enjoy my verbal diarrhea.

Verbal diarrhea ... that sounds so gross but is such a good description of ... well ... diarrhea of the mouth.  I try to prevent "the oral runs" as much as possible by thinking before I speak and choosing my words wisely, but it sometimes happens.  You all know what I'm talking about ... words come flowing out of your mouth faster than your brain can tell your lips to close and you say something stupid, mean or idiotic.  Then there is the pause afterwards where the audience (and you) digests "the mouth squirts".  You think to yourself "OMG ... did I really just say 'that haircut makes your butt look big'?"  And the awkward silence around you confirms your fear.  Yes.  Yes, Becky ... you really did just say that.  Once the realization sets in that the words in your head really did flow through your mouth, you go into total defense mode.  In this mode, there is usually quite a bit of nervous laughter and stammering.  "Errr ... Ummm ... I mean ... that hair cut totally accentuates your big ... uhhh ... eyes!  That's it!  Your eyes really ... uhhh ... pop now!"  Then I spend the rest of the day kicking myself ...

Ahhh ... verbal diarrhea. 



Too bad there isn't any "Verbal Pepto Bismol"


And because I just can't stop my fingers from typing ...

I've noticed lately that people are really trending towards wearing all black or black/gray or black/white.  It's really quite depressing.  When did it become en vogue to dress like you're going to a funeral?  I say this as I'm wearing a dark gray dress, black leggings and black boots.  What is wrong with a little color?!  My favorite color is orange!  It's spicy, and sunny, and fun!  I wish my complexion were a little darker so I could look good in the color orange.  I like to eat oranges and am always so upset when the orange is dry and pulpy.  It's such a bummer after I've spent 5 minutes peeling the orange to realize it's no good!  The anticipation ends in my head hanging low and my shoulders slumped in defeat and a crumbled, dry orange sitting in my lap. 

(Sitting in an imaginary chair)


Speaking of En Vogue ... they are my all time, most favorite girl group ever!  The Funky Divas CD still rocks!  I have every single song memorized and it will forever and always remind me of seventh grade!



I'm not sure how many people read this blog, but I LOVE feedback so if anyone has a suggestion on a topic to please let me know. 

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I suffer from the same ailment. Maybe it runs in the family.

As for another topic, I would like to read about your 12 favorite things about the holidays AND and ESPECIALLY your 12 most aggravating things about the holidays.

Love you and thanks a bunch for the photo frames. Enjoy the house!

Joey

Anonymous said...

LMAO!
I now have EnVogue stuck in my head.. thannnkss Bec!

Amanda