Monday, October 17, 2011

Monkey's pospetics leg ...

Well, it happened, Nathan screeched from the backseat yesterday on the way to the pumpkin patch "Oh no!  It bwoked!  Monkey's leg! It bwoked oft!"

Monkey's leg is Nathan's "worry stone" and he rubs it when he's tired, scared or worried.  The poor leg was thread bare with no stuffing.  Nathan even walks around the house dragging Monkey behind him with that skinney leg stuck between his toes.

Poor Monkey!  Poor, poor, incredibly loved Monkey!!

(Here are some previous posts about Monkey:  My 3 Favorite Things and Monkey #2)

Nathan: Ma!  Wut do Nasan do to Monkey's leg?  You need ta fixt it Ma!  (Mama!  What did Nathan do to Monkey's leg?  Will you fix it please?)
Me:  It's okay bubba.  I bet we can fix Monkey's leg.  Let me see it.
Nathan: Here ju go! (Handed me the sweet lovey)  (Here you go!)
Me: (slowly examing the wounded appendage and realizing the leg is beyond repair) Oh Turkey!  His leg really IS broken!  We will take him to the Monkey hospital tonight and see if we can fix it.  If we can't fix THIS leg, do you mind if he gets a new Monkey leg?
Nathan: A new leg? 
Me: Yep baby!  A super special, brand new Monkey leg!
Nathan: Luuk at da sky!  Where da moond go?  (Look at the sky!  Where did the moon go?)
Me: (Thank God for a short 3 year old attention span!)  Here's Monkey back baby!  We'll fix him tonight.

I took this as an opportunity to teach Nathan about a very important aspect of life that all people need to know about ...

AMPUTATION AND PROSTHETICS

I am not kidding and I am not joking!

When we got home, I wisked Monkey (on a special Monkey gurney, of course) to the special Monkey Hospital (also known as my sewing machine). 

I had to think of the best type of fabric to fashion a prosthetic Monkey leg and felt an old gym sock would be the softest, rubbiest alternative.  Once a sock was located, I set to work on the operating table (sewing table) with a very concerned Nathan breathing over my shoulder.

Nathan: Ma!  Is Monkey k?
Me: Yes, Monkey will be just fine!  Now Turkey, Mama is going to cut off Monkey's old leg.  Is that okay?
Nathan: (looking VERY concerned): Yes Ma.
Me: Do you know what it's called when someone's leg goes bye-bye?
Nathan: No ... whassit caad?
Me: Amputation.  Can you say that?!  AM-PU-TA-SHUN?
Nathan: Amu-nason?
Me: Yes.  That's it.  amu-nason. (I pause and look straight in the little boy's eyes.)  You ready?  I'm going to cut his leg off now.  I'm going ot amputate Monkey's leg because it's broken and he's getting a new leg.
Nathan: Yes.  Um ready.  Monkey ... you ready?  (he pauses as Monkey replies to him)  Ma, Monkey's ready too!

I proceed to cut Monkey's leg off and am filled with emotion for some reason.  I clean up the wound and place the broken leg in Nathan's hand.  I then proceed to create a new, sock leg for Monkey as the patient's care-giver watches with anticipation. 

Me: Turkey ... are you excited for Monkey to have his new leg?
Nathan: Yep!
Me:  When someone gets a new leg, it's called a prosthetic.  Can you say that?!  PROS-THET-IC?
Nathan: Pospetic?
Me: That's right.  Pospetic.  Monkey is getting a brand new, prosthetic leg!
Nathan: Tanks Ma!
Me: You're welcome sugar!

A few more minutes under the lights of the operating table and Monkey's new leg is securely attached with a double lock stitch.  I cut the stray threads and hand the new and improved Monkey over to my boy.  His eyes were so happy!  He instantly tested out the new leg by twisting it between his pointer and middle finger and looks at me with pleasure.

Nathan: Tanks Ma!  (Then he holds Monkey up to me and says in a higher pitched voice) Tanks Bucky!  (Apparently I'm on a first name basis with Monkey!)
Me: You're welcome Turkey!  And you're welcome Monkey!

Nathan then tears off through the house screaming to Shaun: Da-ey!  Da-ey!  Monkey has a pospetics leg!

Before

After (Is it me, or does Monkey look happier?!)
He's so proud of the new leg!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Word of the day: Asinine

The word of the day is ...

as·i·nine

[a-sə-nīn]

Adjective

1.  extremely or utterly foolish
2.  of, relating to, or resembling an ass 


Used in a sentence:
It is asinine that Jenny was promoted to the Turkey Leg Manager when she doesn't know the first thing about Turkeys or Legs.

I love this word for several reasons:
a. It’s fun to say (you sound like you’re cussing)
b. It’s a smart sounding word!  
c. It sounds like you're saying "ass-in-nine"   



 
Please leave a comment letting me know how you increased your vocabulary by using the word “asinine” today!



… just as long as it’s not asinine!