Friday, August 19, 2011

I'm a pill popper

Every morning, I have to take my "ummy edison" (Nathan-ism for Yummy Medicine ... a.k.a. MY DRUGS!).  Over the past year, the amount ummy edisons have increased exponentially. 

At this time last year, I only took 1 multi vitamin ... now I take upwards of 8 pills every morning!

You:  Becky, why on God's green earth do you pop so many pills?!
Me: Well, the edisons aren't taken for my well being ... they are taken for the benefit of others.  My pill-popping is my charity to world peace.  Please refer to below image and chart detailing each pill and it's purpose.


My face before the pills are taken in the morning.

 
Pill:
Purpose:
For Whom:
Reason:
2 Advil
Pain Relief

"Oh, My Aching Back" Relief
Nathan and Katie
To ease the back pain so that I can continue to carry both kids, at the same time, to the car … every.morning!

("Ma, I hode you!!"  Nathan-ism for "Ma, PICK ME UP!")

2 Sudafed
Sinus Relief

"Pounding Headache" Relief
My Work Boss
So my head is clear enough to focus on doing the work that pays the bills so I can continue to buy my drugs.

(It also takes the edge off my splitting headache.  Thank you lovely Texas allergies!)

Vitamin B6
Energy Booster

"Afternoon Heavy Eyelid Prevention" Pill
My Work Associates
To keep me awake and alert during the 2 hour meeting to strategize the upcoming Strategy Meeting or the 3 hour meeting to recap the recap.

(I don't want to be "that guy" who everyone makes fun of for falling asleep in meetings!)

Multi Vitamin
Overall Health

"Feeble Attemt at Being Healthy" Pill
Shaun
To give me the strength to make it through the day so I can spend a few, precious moments each night on the couch with Shaun watching TV.

(The vitamins also make my hair shiny!  Which in turn makes me pretty and ultimately benefits Shaun too??)

Lexapro
Anti-Depressant

"Happy" Pill!
My Family
My family would suffer an agonizing misery that words cannot explain if I didn't take my miracle "happy pills"!

(I also enjoy being on the outside of a mental institution)

Ortho-Cyclen
Birth Control Pills

"No More Babies" Pill!
The World
I don't know if the world could handle the awesomeness one more spawn from Shaun and Becky.

(See comment above regarding a mental institution as one more Shecky Spawn would also land me inside)


Sunday, August 14, 2011

12 weeks old ...

Here's a conversation I often have with myself:
Mouth voice: I can't believe Baby Katie is 12 weeks old already!
Head voice: Don't you mean she's 3 months?!
Mouth: Nope, she will be 3 months on the 22nd.  She was born 12 weeks ago today!
Head: But isn't 12 weeks the same as 3 months?!
Mouth: Yes ... technically ... but ... uhhhh ... errrr ... ummmm ... Oooh!  Look!  Bubbles!



Here's a progress report on the little She-Monkey:
She is super happy and content unless she has poop in her diaper, she's hungry, she's tired or she wants attention and to be held (which is pretty much all.the.time!).
She's consistently sleeping through the night (thank you St. Sleepy)!
She adores her big bubba!
She absolutely hates to be strapped into her car seat and cries if she's in the car and it's not moving at least 42.8 miles per hour.
She's growing out of her 3 month clothes (and she hasn't even worn half of them)!!

Here's a progress report on Ma (aka: Me):
She's super happy and content unless she's hungry, she's tired or she wants attention and to be held (which is pretty much all.the.time!).  Luckily she can wipe her own butt or that would be a very gross situation!
She still isn't sleeping through the night!  (Dang woman needs to continuously check on her offspring and elbow her snoring husband)
She adores her She-Monkey, Turkey Leg and Shaun!
She absolutely hates to be trapped in the car with a screaming 12 week old little girl!
She squeezed into her pre-pregnancy skinny jeans today!!  But couldn't get them buttoned and is not sure if she will be able to take them off this evening without Shaun's help!






Friday, August 12, 2011

Pet Peeves and Annoyances by the Letter

Asymmetrical Clothes

Holy Missing Sleeve, Bella!
(Go Team Edward)
Boogers … regardless of the person’s relation or age, I want to hold a tissue up to their nose and say “blow”!

Cramps


Excessive perspiration
Oh Fergie! GROSS!

Fingerprints on glass and mirrors
Greasy hair
I bet there's a grease stain on your pillow case!

Half glass left in the bottle of wine
My kind of lady!

Ill fitting bras
Thank you peopleofwalmart.com!

Japanimation … the overly large eyes are creepy.

Kernels of popcorn stuck in my teeth
Loud toys
Should come with a lifetime supply of ear plugs!

Mispronunciations … The word is supposEDLY not supposABLY!
Nervous laughter
Open toed shoes with panty hose

People saying: You look tired today. 
Quizno’s Rodents … they’re kinda scary.

Rugs that slip across the floor
Sloppily folded newspapers at the car repair place
If you want to know how to make me hyperventilate ... see pic above.

 Things not stacked in order of size
Uncharged rechargeable batteries
Visible bra straps
Wedgies
I wonder if this poor child will be able to reproduce?

Xanax and Xerox … why don’t the words begin with the letter “Z”?
Yellowed-Belly Cowards!  (I couldn't think of anything better that started with "Y")
Zits on my face!  I’m 31 years old, not 13!





Sunday, August 7, 2011

Mah dacta appitmit … bah BaKatie Beff!

Mah dacta appitmit … bah BaKatie Beff!
(Translation: My Doctor Appointment … by Baby Katie Beth)

Hewwo!  Iz me!  BaKatie Beff!  I so eggsited foe mah fust bog endy!
(Translation:  Hello!  It’s me!  Baby Katie Beth!  I’m so excited for my first blog entry!)

Ma wii wite duh west foe meee …
(Translation: Ma will write the rest for me …)

I had a doctor appointment last week.  Don’t worry!  I’m okay!  It was just my 2 month check-up.  Can you believe I’ve been around for 2 months already?!  Time sure flies when you’re having fun! 


(Ma’s Note:  Sweet Baby Girl, don’t you mean to say “Time sure flies when all you do is eat, sleep, poop, spit up and cry”?)
Big Bubba Nathan came along too. 

He says he likes going to the doctor’s because they measure you to see how big you’re getting, they look in your ears and nose to make sure there aren’t any bugs in there and listens to the music in your body.  He especially likes it when he says “Ahhhhh” and they put a popsicle stick in his mouth. 

If he’s a super, duper big boy, he gets a sticker and ice cream.  I can’t eat ice cream yet.




When the nurse called me back, she measured my length, measured my weight and measured my head. 

I weigh almost twice as much as I did when I was born!!  And I’m getting smarter too because my head is growing too!

Apparently the doctor is a very important person because it took him a long time to get to my room. 

(Ma’s Note: I mean L-O-N-G!!  Like 40 minutes long!  40 L-O-N-G minutes with an almost 3 year old, energetic toddler and a tired 2 month old baby!) 
The doctor says I am growing like a weed!  But Ma didn’t need a doctor to tell her that!  She says the pain in her back and neck let her know how big I’m getting.

I had 3 shots!  And not the alcoholic kind!  These shots were stabbed in my thigh and hurt super bad!  But the shots will keep me safe from getting super sick.

The rest of the appointment was a blur.  All I remember after the shots was crying and then falling asleep …

(Ma’s Note:  Katie is almost 3 months old … I’ve just taken my sweet time typing this up!)
And Ma did good … she took some pictures with her handy-dandy phone to chronicle the event.

Ma and Nathan playing "Monster Doctor Hands"

Me and Nathan waiting for the doctor.  

Still waiting ...


Thursday, August 4, 2011

I'm hot ... literally.

Unless you live under a rock (or the Pacific North West), you have dealt with the ridiculous heat wave that’s sweeping the nation right now.
Darn you, Julee and Rachelle!  Darn you all who live in the PNW!!

It’s so hot outside, the soles of your shoes will melt if you stand in one spot longer than 3.2 seconds.

It’s too hot to go swimming.  I have been in my swimming pool 3 times this year.  And we are actually paying a pool company to maintain it this summer.  Ugh!  It’s never looked better … but, unfortunately, being in the pool is the equivalent of taking a hot bath after a super sweaty workout.  Add the humidity and it’s like blow-drying your hair after the hot bath in a stuffy, steamy bathroom. 
Gah-rossssss!



I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually think cold weather is better than hot weather.  When it’s cold outside, you can add layers of clothing.  But, there’s only so much you can take off when it’s hot.  

My pool this past January ...

In the Dallas/Ft. Worth metroplex, we are quickly making our way to the hottest summer in the history of FOREVER!  

We have had 35 days of 100+ degrees in a row. 
Our electricity bill is astronomical!  

It was 92 degrees at 5:30 this morning.  
It was 103 at 10:00 last night. 
It’s supposed to be 109 today.  



I have nightmares of our A/C going out!  And then wake up in a sweat from the bad dream and think “OMG!  The A/C really did go out because I’m covered in sweat!”  And then I hear the sweet hum of the cold air blowing through the vents.

I apply deodorant to parts of my body where deodorant is not designed to go.

I feel like I’m going to suffocate if I’m outside for more than 5 minutes.

Every single door in my house is sticking right now.  Thank you lovely, parched, cracked Texas clay soil … I will be amazed if my houses’ foundation survives this summer.


When you look “Dallas, Texas” up in the dictionary, this picture pops up.



Have I mentioned it's hot?!


Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Randoms (Those Sexy Tiggers!)

1.  It never fails, as soon as I step away from my desk to go to the restroom, my phone rings and I get a voicemail.  I hate listening to voicemails!  Especially when the message is: “Hi Becky.  This is Mr. Dumb-di-Dum.  Give me a call back when you have a minute”.  Really?! 

**A note to all who read this: Please give some sort of indication as to why you’re calling me and the purpose to your voicemail!**
2.  I wish there was a machine that could record my thoughts!  I always think of the best things when I am no where near a writing utensil!  Greatness usually strikes me while I’m in the shower. 
Which reminds me … I really need to get to work on my ‘waterproof memo pad for the shower’ invention I’ve been thinking of for the past several years.

3.  Is it considered sexual harassment if a woman at work says “you look sexy”?  Cre-eeeepy!!!

4.  I hate it when I *think* my outfit looks great in the morning after I put it on, but then realize my skirt is a little too short after I get to work (especially when it took a woman to say “you look sexy” for me to really realize my dress was a hot mess)!

5.  The lotion I put on this morning makes my legs feel greasy.  
Pasty white, greasy, un-shaven legs = so.not.sexy!

6.  I can’t tell if my kiddos are twinkies or not … below is a picture taken of them at similar ages … what do you think?
Baby Nathan

Baby Katie


7.  I’m so excited!!!  I think I saw a slight hint of green coming through Katie’s blue eyes!!  OMG!  I would LOVE for her to have Shaun’s awesome green eyes!

8.  Nathan will turn 3 at the end of the month and it makes me sad!  I want my Turkey Leg to stay little forever!! 

9.  One thing I would like Nathan to grow out of … being in diapers!  I’m still praying every night that he magically wakes up and decides to go poop and pee on the potty!

10.  My new absolute, most favorite website right now (other than Facebook) is Rants from Mommyland!  It is hi-stair-ee-kul!

11.  There are currently 6 (yes, s-i-x) drinking vessels on my desk right now (evidence below) … And half of them are empty.

That's *the* greasy lotion in the background ...



12.  Yesterday evening, Nathan was bugging me to watch the “Tigger Show” so, like any normal person, I thought he meant Winnie-The-Pooh.  When I told him I couldn’t find it OnDemand, he about had a melt down saying: “I NEE DO WASH THE TIGGER SOW … PUH-LEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!”  I finally figured out he was saying “Digger Show” which translated to Fraggle Rock (because they dig … duh.) which is on OnDemand.  All was right in Nathan’s world after that.



13.  And finally, the highlight of my day yesterday was trying out a new hold for my ring sling.  Katie seemed to love it!
*Not me (or Katie) in the picture, but it gives you an idea