Friday, February 4, 2011

Lessons of Love ...

As previously mentioned, my parent's have been married for 39 years ...
that equals to 2028 weeks ...
14,235 days ...
341,640 hours ...
28,498,400 minutes ... 



That is a LONG time to be with the same person by your side day in and day out.  My parent's set an amazing example of what a marriage is about and they instilled in me and my brothers that marriage is hard work and it takes 2 people to make it last.

I feel they passed on some amazing lessons in love ...

Lesson 1: Love is a choice.  
When Shaun popped "the question" I made the choice to say "yes".  Then at the altar on my wedding day, the vows were read and I made the choice to say "I do".  I made the conscious choice to "love" Shaun.  There are days when I have to remind myself that I chose him and I choose to love him ... in good times and bad, in sickness and health, till death do us part.  Likewise, there are days when I have to remind Shaun that he chose to love me.  (giggle, giggle)
My advice to keep this choice fresh in your mind is to say "I love you" ... this phrase can never be said too often.  I think the more I tell Shaun I love him, the easier it is to remind myself of my choice to love him.
This same lesson can be applied to the love you have for a child ... there have been days when I'm at my wits end with Nathan and have to tell myself: "I love you ... even though it just took you 30 seconds to wreck this room I spent the past 30  minutes cleaning".

“It is difficult for some people to accept that love is a choice. This seems to run counter to the generally accepted theory of romantic love which expounds that love is inborn and as such requires no more than to accept it.”  ~Leo F. Buscaglia


Lesson 2:  You can't be good parents if you're not a good couple.  
Every Saturday night was "date night" for my Mama and Daddy.  They valued every second they had together ... even more when me and my brothers spent the evening at Gram's house.  The bottom line with this lesson is "don't take your spouse for granted" - love them like you want to be loved, respect them like you want to be respected, show them the affection that you would want shown you.
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.                      ~1 Thessalonians 5:11 
Lesson 3: Never be indiffernt.
A favorite Mama-ism of mine is "Indifference, more than hate, kills Love".  Those words couldn't be more true in every aspect of my life.  Indifference shows a lack of emotion ... I would rather someone tell me "I hate you" than ignore me.  This is especially true when it comes to the bond of marriage.  It is one thing to intentionally be emotionless in the work place, but never be emotionless when it relates to your spouse or family.  As soon as the indifference makes an entrance, the passion will make an exit.
“Indifference may not wreck a man's life at any one turn, but it will destroy him with a kind of dry-rot in the long run”  ~Bliss Carman

6 comments:

Claudia said...

I love your (and your parents') point of view on love and marriage! Great post!! Keep 'em coming! :)

Claudia said...

me too,
Glenn

Becky said...

Thanks Claud and Glenn!!!

Lady Blachly said...

Hmmm, the indifferent part really strikes a chord with me. I think I may have taken a choosing to not saying anything over saying what I feel more and more lately. Marriage is certainly a special thing and I love it!

TheDearmanFamily said...

Well said, Becky! I needed to read this right now.

Aunt Vicki said...

Love your stories!